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Dating_Mentor's blog

Communication is still part of modern dating, so it is important to make sure that you are clued up on all of the messaging do’s and don’ts. Most people today have experienced their fair share of texting… but most people have also experienced frustrating, or slow  conversations that last for days and end up going nowhere. If this keeps happening to you, it could be because you are making a classic mistake without realizing. Here are four popular communication mistakes that you should avoid making if you are messaging someone you like.

1. Being The Needy Person

The needy person is the person who continues to message someone when their previous messages were ignored. It can be frustrating to feel like someone has dropped off the face of the earth, but their silence speaks volumes – and you repeatedly messaging them is unlikely to change their mind as it makes you seem a little needy or somewhat desperate.

2. Being The Bore

Another common communication mistake is constantly sending boring messages like “sup” or “How are you doing?” This is a quick and easy way to get a conversation going, but if you continue to send repeatedly boring messages eventually the other person will stop replying. For this reason you should take the time to send a more personal message that is funny or interesting.

3. Showing Off Too Much

If you like someone it can be tempting to brag a little, but showing off too much is an easy way to guarantee that you don’t get a message back. It is hard to convey non-verbal tone over text, so humble bragging or jokey bragging can come across much more seriously, and this can make you look big headed or narcissistic.

4. Waiting Three Days To Reply

Most people have heard about the three day rule where you wait three days to contact someone, but this rule is out-dated and it should definitely be avoided. Everyone has busy lives, but it doesn’t take days to take a few seconds to send a quick message, so if you wait the other person may assume that you are not interested in them and move on. If you like someone, message them as soon as you want – but once you’ve sent the message, wait for them to reply before you message them again!

Dating in your 30s can be fairly different to dating in your 20s – especially if you have just got out of a long-term relationship! Sometimes it can seem like dating is harder in your 30s because there are less single people, and people are more likely to have emotional baggage. However there are actually lots of advantages to dating in your 30s; people tend to be more sure about what they want, and more people are looking for a genuine, serious relationship. Here are six tips for people who are dating in their 30s.

1. Don’t Stress About Divorce

The divorce rate in most countries is normally between 20% and 50%, so if you are dating in your 30s it is likely that a significant chunk of the available singles will be divorced. So if you refuse to date people who are divorced, your dating pool will be a lot smaller! If you’re struggling to get over a divorce bias, remember that lots of people come with relationship baggage, and this includes people who have never been married.

2. You Know What You Want, so Actively Find "It"

The good thing about dating in your 30s is that you have relationship experience, which means that you should be more aware of what you want. If you’re not sure what you’re looking for in a relationship, sit down and list things that matter to you; do you want to find someone who will bring you out of your shell and challenge you, or do you want to find someone who wants to travel the world? This will make it easier for you to find someone who you have a genuine connection with.

3. Tear Non-Resistant Walls Down

If you have been in an unhappy relationship in the past, you may be tempted to put your guard up – but in reality this will just make it harder for you to find someone. Sure, you are less likely to get hurt, but if you want to find a real, meaningful relationship you need to be willing to let your guard down.

4. Don’t Be Bitter

Don’t let negative thinking about your past relationships make you bitter or jaded. The past is in the past, and if you constantly bring it up it will affect the present and the future. So while it may be difficult, it is important to let the past go so that you can focus on your current life.

5. Update Your Wardrobe

Now that you're no longer in your 20s, you should reflect that in what you wear. Say goodbye to tummy tight tank tops, mini skirts, sky high heels, super tight jeans, cut out clothes, etc etc. Say hello to button downs, boot cut jeans, ballerina flats, and blazers, etc.

6. Don’t Waste Valuable Time

If you want to be in a serious relationship, don’t waste time with people who play games or string you along. Some people can mess people around for months or even years, so it is important to leave if you suspect that your crush isn’t really into you. It also means that you are more likely to notice if the right person enters your life, as you won’t be focused on the wrong person!

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